The chimps have decided to down all their tools. They are refusing to work alongside their human counterparts. The official statement read, Chimps put down their bananas. They also refused to make any deals, with the termite community. Unless they are given a better deal. They want more and more better tyres, as well as better treatment.
One chimp went on strike, after he was told to hold up a bank with a banana. He was also protesting at the terrible conditions, in which his fellow companions were being held in. One chimp had stated that his lavatory chain, refused to flush his poo away. He was very angry at the prospect, of having to do without a tv to rub his bare wrinkly feet on. Especially whenever David Cameron was on the box.
Another chimp had been asked to perform a sexual duty, involving a trouser press. He refused to participate in any kind of sexual orgy, that involved a trouser press. Another chimp had suffered extreme mental torture, after he was forced to listen to 100 hours of Pavarotti, non-stop. It had seriously affected his mind, and so he refused to do any more work. The chimp threw his banana skin at a sexy looking NHS nurse.
What do the chimps want? They have all come out of work in protest, at the shaby conditions in which they're expected to work under. They want better toilets with greater flushing systems. They want bigger banana pay rises. More tyres to swing around on. And a direct telephone line service, to the President Of The United States Of Chimpanzee.
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